Nurture vs. Nature

Is it Nature or is it Nurture??  Families separated by adoption can teach us many things about heredity. Some ongoing debates can be easily won by looking at families who have been separated.

The basic environment vs. heredity debate can be easily won by looking at adoptees who have not been raised in their biological families, but end up just like them.  Time and time again, we see adoptees who have grown up with the same likes and dislikes, or good and bad habits, as their biological families.  Of course, adoptees also reflect their adoptive families in many ways due to the time spent with them and the training from the parents, however, the similarities in the strangers from biological families is uncanny.

Medical information is the most common reason an adoptee might want to search.  A visit to the doctor’s office is always incomplete without medical history.  Yes, there are a multitude of physical problems one can inherit from their birth family.  I have a form of Spina Bifida (incomplete fusion of the spine), that I inherited from my birth family.  Unfortunately, I did not know of their problems until I was preparing for back surgery.  My daughter inherited it also, but at least now has the foreknowledge and can chose to be more careful.  Unfortunately, she also inherited the risk taker genes from us, so the warning may go unheeded.

Inheriting personality, and medical problems is one thing, but inheriting mental or emotional issues is possible as well.  Those who doubt the existance of issues like these, should look at families who have been separated.  Multiple children removed from unstable homes, raised in separate homes without contact can all end up with the same issues as the parents.   As we know, emotional diagnosis’ can be applied to people who do not deserve this label and these issues will not always be passed down, but these separated families are indicators that these issues are real, and inheritable.

Nurture is a powerful tool in a person’s life.  Good parenting and lots of love is required for a child’s emotional and physical health.  As an adoptee, I will be eternally grateful for my parent’s nurture of me.  My birth mother was not too much of a kid person and may not have been very nurturing.  Many people have commented that it was fortunate that I was adopted.  Unfortunately, the nurture from my adoptive parents did not nullify my nature inherited from my birth family.  Indeed I am grateful to my adoptive parents and do not regret my upbringing, but unfortunately for them, I was a Texan at heart and it showed.  They were often frustrated with my high spirited personality.  My teenage years mirror those of my birth family. Nurture was not able to overcome those inherited traits.

At 19, God broke through my destructive lifestyle and made Himself known to me.  He was able to overcome my nature when nurture could not.  I am still learning about myself and my Texas roots, and I am still loved and nurtured by my adoptive mother, but it is God who had the power to change my life’s direction.   I am thankful to Him for both my families.