My Voice, My Choice: Following my Dreams

Giving Rebecca Her Voice, and Her Choice to direct her life has resulted in a much more confident young woman.  Last Fall, we officially started on Health and Welfare’s new program called My Voice, My Choice, Idaho’s Self-Direction program for adults with intellectual disabilities.  Starting down this road required me to think “outside the box” of traditional programs.  Now that we are doing it, we would never go back.  She loves being “self-directed”!

  Many people seem to think that this program is only for adults who appear to be able to direct themselves, but that is not true.  This program works for any adult who has supportive people in his or her life who are willing to help.  Unfortunately, this program doesn’t work for the person who does not have a good support team.   The person themselves does not have to have the ability to make all the decisions.  The program is built around a “Circle of Support” with the individual as an active member of the Circle.  The “Circle of Support” helps the adult direct themselves giving them as much say as possible.

  As I began to learn about Self-Direction, I started to see the difference in philosophy in this program.  Traditionally, people with Intellectual Disabilities are not given the benefit of the doubt when it comes to making decisions.  It is assumed that we caregivers must make them all.  Often times, it is just too time consuming and difficult to find out what the person wants or needs.  Instead of letting someone make a mess in the kitchen fixing his/her own meal, we step in and do it for them because it is a lot easier.  Unfortunately, they do not ever become able to do it themselves and their food choices are made by someone else.  As I became aware of my own behavior and ways I controlled Becky, I started to let go of the control.  The philosophy is in giving them as much control over their lives as possible.

  In the “Circle of Support” meeting, we asked Becky basic questions about her life that I had never bothered to do.  What do you like doing in the day time? The night time?  On the weekends?  What don’t you like?  As an adult, what would you like to do with your time?  I had to be ready for her answers.  I have been answering for her and making assumptions about what she wants for a long time.  Most of the things she said, I knew about, but I had to really listen.  What really lit her fire?  This is what I had done with my other kids, but not with her. 

  We have changed our philosophy in our house and it has made a big difference to Becky.  She is working on things that mean something to her and she will initiate taking responsibility for things that I would not have guessed.  Giving her a say does not mean letting her do whatever she wants.  It means that she has purpose and meaning in her life. 

Entertaining her friends in her apartment

We have remodeled our home to make an “apt” for her.  She is very excited to have her own space, but not so excited about learning to take care of it.  Taking care of the small refrigerator is a challenge – we have to throw out the old stuff…   I decided to try the Lysol wipes to make it easier for her to clean up and now she loves to clean her kitchen area. 

  College has been her dream.  She is taking a Spanish class at CWI community ed, but it is not as easy as she thought it would be.  I was ready to give up one day – we went to a Taco place with a Spanish speaking employee.  He spoke to

Spanish Class at CWI

 her in Spanish and she answered with Donka (thank you in German).  Would it ever click?  Yes, after 4 months of telling people she could speak Spanish, she can finally answer the basic questions.  She has learned to do her homework and to practice practice practice. 

  New experiences have new challenges, but we are learning to keep trying until we get it.  Because these are things that she wanted, she is willing to work at them.  She will tell you that Self-Direction enabled her to follow her dreams!

  Check out My Voice, My Choice it out at: