In Memory of Daniel

  When I first met Daniel, he was 5 years old.  Despite his jovial disposition, he had lost his birthmother to cancer two years prior to my entrance into his life and he seemed out of sorts.  He was physically not too coordinated, easily frustrated and there were times when he seemed very much in his own world.  Because I had experience with disabilities, I was able to recognize that something was not right.  This was not just a grieving child, but one who was frustrated with his world.  Thus began my 13 year journey from doctor to doctor, trying to find help.  My journey with Daniel ended last year when he passed away.  My work for kids like Daniel will go on in remembrance of him.

  Visiting doctors was not always a pleasure, but Daniel adjusted and developed patience for them – their endless questions and tests.  From the time when he hid under the table in the pediatrician’s office at 5 years old to the time when he confounded the doctors with his poise, they never “figured him out”.  One of the first neurologists we went to told us he had Aspergers syndrome which is probably pretty close.  Since then, he has been diagnosed with Verbal Learning Disability, anxiety, and ADHD, none of which really fit.  Everyone seemed to have their own opinion, but no one had an answer.  He had a high IQ and a phenomenal memory, but his processing speed was slower than normal and as one doctor put it, there were “holes”.  As the doctors became acquainted with Daniel, they enjoyed his easy going spirit and his cooperation.  His character and behavior was not like that of most boys with learning Disabilities.

  Home schooling was a life saver for Daniel.  He was an excellent student and eager to learn.   His frustrations usually came in the form of people, or other kids, so taking the social challenges out of the classroom was good for him.  He still had his family to deal with, but we were considerably kinder to him than kids at school would have been.  Not to say that we didn’t frustrate him at times, but with God’s help, he did learn to control is temper and to get along well with people.  Home schooling also enabled us to take certain subjects slower if we needed to.  His last year of high school was spent duel enrolled in the local High School, where he excelled in certain areas, and was on the Honor Roll, but found many aspects still frustrating even with accommodations.  He was glad he had been home schooled.

  He found a second home at Shiloh Bible Camp where he was a summer missionary, training to be full time as Program Director.   Despite his disabilities, he was one of the best servants that camp ever had.  His goal was to share his Lord with as many people as he could, and camp made that possible for him.  He will be missed by many at camp.

  Therapies which were most beneficial for Daniel were found in the activities that our family participated in.  Early elementary was chess club where he was challenged in many areas of mental discipline.  Later, our family joined the Idaho Kenpo Karate School where he eventually earned a Junior Black Belt.  At first, he hated karate due to its discipline and its physical contact; however, he learned to love it and was respected as one of the most proficient juniors.  He never was very fast in fighting, but he was known for his ability to stand his ground due to his solid stance.  This once awkward boy even learned to ball room dance with our family.  Not only were these great therapeutic activities, they were normal activities with our family. 

   As Daniel grew, he participated in normal activities despite my concern over his safety.  At times, he did not exercise good judgment and he was always rather clumsy.  Climbing trees had to be curtailed when he would climb out on limbs too small to hold his weight.  Starting out in snow skiing was nerve-racking when speed overtook his ability to stop, but he eventually became proficient enough to be an instructor with Rec Unlimited and work with disabled skiers.  You had to be adventurous to ski with Daniel when he wasn’t working for Rec Unlimited because he would lead you off trail and down a steep slope compromising his safety and your own. He did have a driver’s permit, but he was definitely the most challenging of all my kids.  He was never reckless, just too calm to react to anything.  That was Daniel – nothing rattled his cage except people. This lack of fear always made me concerned for his safety.

  Last year, Daniel passed away during one of those normal adventures.  While hiking with his best friend and the young man’s family, Daniel fell off a cliff and died instantly.  Knowing where he was going, gives us a peace about dying because he knew the God who he had walked with through all his life’s trials.  He lived his life with determination and passion knowing that God would give him strength and direction.  His disabilities never stopped him from doing what he wanted to do.  His example to us will live on in our memories. I was blessed to be his mom for a little while.